It's been a while...

...and I'm afraid that my attempt to continue a steady blog has failed and shall continue to fail indefinitely. I've gone back to a regular written journal, which is much more fulfilling for me, both creatively and therapeutically.

I feel like so much has gone in the time since my last blog it'll be near impossible to try and catch up with everything...so I'm not even going to try.

So...here's a bit of a send off...I've been feeling very lost and alone of late, what with graduation only about two months away and I with no idea what to do or where to go or...anything...I hate not having the answers, I hate not knowing, but that's where I am...and, for the love of god I'm not even gonna get started on my love life (or lack thereof...*shakes head in shame*), so, yeah...

Maybe when my life comes into order and I find a purpose and a path...I'll come back to blogging...but...for now, not so much.

Maybe we'll meet again, in another time...in another life.

Procrastination!

So, I just finished cutting out the pieces for the dress that will be the first costume piece of my senior show...which is coming much more quickly that I'd like to admit. It's a stretch knit fabric that I'm not looking forward to struggling with on the sewing machine...and I've just now realized that I completely forgot to pick up stretch needles for my machine...uck. Do I attempt to sew it with the general use needles and risk mucking up the fabric....hmmm. I shall mull whilst I blog.

So...it's been two months since I last blogged, and a LOT has gone on. Like...A LOT a lot. I shall start with Italia.

So, basically for the whole month of July, I was halfway across the world in Italy, studying language and commedia. It really was a great experience and I learned a shit ton...but, as I've told the numerous people who have asked me about it, it was not a vacation by any stretch of the imagination. To start, July is quite possibly the worst time to be in Italy...it was pretty much 95 degrees every day, and for reasons unknown to me, Italians don't believe in AC. And I really hate the heat. So, that made me miserable...a lot. We were in class 90% of the time, whether it be seven hours of language, a master class with a crazy Italian, rehearsing for the scenario, or conditioning and pushing our bodies to their limits. Our 'days off' were not so much...but that's besides the point. The scenario turned out well, more or less. I played the role of Flaminia, a lover. It was definitely an awesome experience, and I really was able to just let go and be a giant goof on stage, which was great. As soon as Zarko sets up the video online, I'll be sure to post it to the blog. Anywho......next time I travel abroad, it will be strictly as a tourist, and I will be staying in a five star hotel with AC and my own bathroom. The living arrangement...8 people, one tiny house, and one shower...harsh. But the group a decent one, and save for some small quibbles (mostly concerning money), we all got along well, and managed to put on a really fun performance.

Needless to say, my return home was a happy one...it was great to be back in my own house with my own room and my own bathroom and my AC and my cat. I missed home a lot.

Upon returning to good old Scranton, I fell back into my routine of Justice and Johnny Rockets, which is going quite well, and I'm hoping to keep both up during the school year. We'll see how that goes. :)

After being back home for about a week and a half...my grandpa finally passed away. I went to visit him the Monday after I got back, and he told me to do good....to do so good. I'm the only grandchild right now who's attending college and actually going to finish....he told me I should have been a doctor. I told him I hate doctors. I promised him I would do good, and I intend to keep that promise, one way or another. He passed away peacefully on Thursday, August 6, 2009, after a long hard struggle with cancer. The weekend following was particularly rough, consisting of several family gatherings up at my gramma's, a memorial service on Sunday, and funeral on Monday. The funeral was awful. I promised both my parents that when they die, I'd make sure they don't get the ridiculously depressing Catholic services like Grampy did, but that we'll just have a big party and celebrate their lives, instead of mourn their deaths. The whole ordeal has been really rough on my mom, but she's dealing the best that she can. I think, now that it's finally over, we can all start to move on and heal.

So, now, I'm working my butt off before school starts up on the 31st, trying to get at least a start on my senior show (and failing miserably...*sigh*), and....in happy and exciting news...I'm going to see Hair!! Dad and I have tickets for the 26th...I'm so stoked. And I'll also be fitting in a trip to Drama Book that day to search for the ever illusive monologues for my senior show...I'm starting to wonder if any even exist. I guess we'll see. So, now I'm gonna go and review the instructions for my current sewing project, maybe start stitching (maybe...I'm going to experiment with some scrap fabric), and I still need to finish all my renderings...and I think I might go with a different concept for my final costume. Still not sure, I've got a lot to mull over...and then I want to get to bed at a decent hour so I can get up, shower, and be to work at 10 AM (Justice)...

P.S. - I went to an all-male revue last night at Spurs...and...ew. At least I know never to do that again. Yikes. I think I'll keep Spurs on my list of places to go for karaoke...and only karaoke.

Life is a highway...

Not too much to discuss presently...just the fact that I've traveled about 2300 miles across the country to the quaint little town of Helena, Montana, to visit relatives. It's been a very relaxed couple of days (sans the 32 hours trapped in the car...which wasn't horrible, but at the same time, not entirely enjoyable either...). There's not much to do in the way of entertainment 'round these parts, but it's nice, nonetheless, to stop and smell the roses - regardless of how much I may sneeze and suffer from doing so. I'm not gonna lie - I can't wait to get back home and get back in the swing of things...I feel like it's wrong for me to try and do work while I'm out here...it is, after all, a vacation. So, I inevitably procrastinate working on my senior show...I have yet to transpose a single composition into my voice range...and I know that's going to be the most time consuming project, as I will be putting each individual piece into Sibelius, note by note, and then transposing it using Sibelius...it's a very time consuming and...well, quite frankly a boring process that looses my interest after about two hours. I suppose I need to just crack down and do it. I've got about a week of a half of time over at the Diehm's when I get back to PA where I will be Lucky-sitting and have much free time to just sit in front of the TV, put something only mildly interesting on in the background, and go to town. I think I might not allow myself to start doing my renderings until the sheet music is taken care of. And, fml, I still can't find any monologues or scenes that are relavent to my theme choice. I think I'm gonna E-mail Doc and see if she has anything floating around that neurotic noggin of hers. We'll see.

Well, I think that about wraps things up for now...I don't know that I'll be able to get online again until after I'm back in PA, so, until then...enjoy the view.

Do the monkey with me!

I start training at Johnny Rockets in approximately nine hours...and in honor of that...a video.

If you're utterly confused by what Johnny Bravo has to do with Johnny Rockets...blame my manager Katie. She started it. Now to bed!

Where do I go from here?

Happy birthday to me! I'm finally 21!! In a short while I will be heading out to procure my big-girl license...that's right - no more vertical license for me! Then it's off to dinner at Coopers with some of the gang, then karaoke at Billy B's, where [hopefully] there will not be too much awkwardness with the karaoke host and the fact that I have just turned 21. *sigh* Why can't I attract men my own age? Why is it that the creepy middle-aged guys always seem to find me alluring? Mysteries of life, I suppose.

Oh, on an entirely different note, I think I have a job at Johnny Rockets. I have training this Thursday, but I'm not sure that they'll keep me on knowing all the time I'm going to miss. I did say that I was going away to Italy for three weeks in July in the interview, and that didn't seem to be an issue, but I have yet to tell them that I will also be gone for a week in June to visit family in Montana...I was going to break that news on Thursday. All I know is that I just dropped about $35 on clothes for this job, and I better fucking be keeping it, cause I don't think I can take the clothes back. Well, I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

Thursday night I'm driving out to Long Island for some birthday celebrations with Carolyn. Her birthday is Thursday, and we're having a "Becky and Carolyn turned 21" extravaganza type thing...Friday on LI and Saturday in the city...unfortunately I won't be seeing Hair as originally planned...maybe I'll see it when I get back from Italy, depending on how much money (if any) I have left over. All I know is that I will see this musical...come hell or high water! But, show or no show, it will still be a fun weekend!!

Well, I have to get ready, because I want to be out and back in time to enjoy some afternoon cakey-ness (yes, my mommy bought me a cake...and a balloon...don't judge!) with my family before I head out to celebrate with my friends. Maybe now that I'm 21 and can go out to bars and such...I can fix this whole 'me being single' situation...which is really getting quite annoying...we shall see. Ciao!

All the lonely people...where do they all come from?

So, yes, I'm finally getting around to updating this damn thing...I've got my planner out and everything so that I hit all the events that have transpired in the previous weeks. So...let's see...where to begin...*flips through the pages of her life*...

April 3 - Ran unopposed for Treasurer of the Marywood Players 2009-2010 Academic Year. It's awesome that people really trust me in this position...or perhaps no one else thought they could handle dealing with the Fiscal Affairs office...either way, yay me! That night, we went to see North Pocono's performance of "A Midsummer Night's Dream" - not at all what I was expecting. As I've said before, the line between high school and college level performance is very blatant and becoming increasingly obvious. Unfortunately, this was not a performance that I thoroughly enjoyed, but I'm glad to have seen it, nonetheless.

April 4 - Kidstuff '09. Theme: The Wizard of Oz. From this experience I take away one thing - I do not so much enjoy the company of children. It's different at work when I'm getting paid to be nice to them, and they aren't EVERYWHERE. But Kidstuff just isn't my cup of tea. At least I know now.

April 9-13 - Worked my Easter Break away. That's just fine with me. :)

The week after Easter, we really had to crack down and get to work on Children's Theatre. I worked my ass off on the costumes for this show, with the help of the lovely Pattianne Martin as my assistant, and some willing-to-learn fellow students. Gaze upon the glory...the fruits of my labor.

So, these are the lovely attendants. Costumes fashioned from satin poet shirts found in the costume closet with my own personal touches. I brought back the magic scarfs from last year's production and used them to create sashes and trim. I also made the green sleep cap and orange floppy hat.


And the royal family. Princess Astrid, in a wonderfully drab green skirt and poet shirt pulled from stock, and a vest I threw together. Prince Eric, the bane of my costuming existence. I made his poet shirt, we found the vest, and I had to take a pair of slacks and turn them into breeches so that he wouldn't have a bare bottom. For a while there, I wasn't sure what I was going to do with him, but it worked out. The King, in a fabulous red number, pulled from stock, with red pants turned into bloomers by yours truly. And the Queen, in a stunning purple and navy dress that was rotting out like no one's business. Props to Pattianne for bringing that one back to life on multiple occasions.

And, of course, the Troll and Osric. The troll's costume was basically stock, an oversized smock with a rope belt, vest, and Shroud pants from Children's Theatre two years ago. The only addition to her costume was a bit of cloth across the neckline so she wouldn't have to paint that green as well. And Osric...oh Osric and her dress. That damn dress was in sore shape, but Pattianne made it work. Oh, and I made her little headpiece.

Look, Ma, I made a show!

This costuming experience was bittersweet for me, I must say. While it was great to get the experience and to see what it's like first hand to costume a show, I'm going to be bitter about it forever. First, because I wanted to be in the show, and wasn't given that opportunity because Doc threw the costuming position at me and how could I say no? Second, because I didn't get paid to do this. Normally, we bring in a professional costumer to do our Children's Theatre shows, and pay them quite well. Well, it was not the case with this production. I did this show completely free of charge, and, even then, I got to use all my hours for practicum, so, that's not what bothers me. What bothers me is the complete lack of support and gratitude I got from Doc on this show. It seemed like every step I took was in the wrong direction, and, I'm sorry, but you asked me to do this, knowing full well that I have never done it before. I had to call off work, my real job, that they actually pay me to do, on several occasions because I had to be at the theatre. The worst, though, was when Doc gave gifts to the Assistant Director, Stage Manager, and Assistant Stage Manager and completely snubbed me. I put in over 80 hours of work on this show in about a week and a half span, and I have absolutely nothing to show for it. Big fat FML moment right there. So to Doc, I say this: If you every expect me to costume a show for you again, I expect compensation. Period. If you're going to put me in a position like that, at least thank me for the work I did. She hardly even did that. Like I said...bitter forever.

Anywho, moving on...*flips through some more pages*...let's see, let's see...

Directly following strike and post mortem of Children's Theatre, I had to scuttle my butt down to the Wilkes Barre for a Campus Choir concert. I honestly didn't mind it, I prefer the concert at St. Stephen's to the one in the auditorium...plus I got to dress up like a pirate afterwards and hung out with Frank at the Relay for Life for a few hours. Doing stuff like that makes me pine for the old days, the high school days, when life was simple and it was just always a good time because everyone was always together. We didn't need to do anything extravagant or outlandish...a night in with the gang was all it took to have fun. It's also nice to break up the MU routine and venture out to seek new friends and stranger company...sorry Midsummer flashback.

So, Children's Theatre came to a close, Campus Choir wrapped up, and then it was right into finals...in a 'holy hell what the fuck am I gonna do?' kind of way. Some finals I kind of blew off (that would be my Cosmology final...but Dr. J is a cool guy and gave me an A anyways...heh heh), and others I worked my ass off for (that would be Ancient and Medieval World History...26 pages later...I better get an A, haha). Grades come out this Thursday, and I've got my fingers crossed for the Dean's List. Six semesters running would be fantastic. We'll see, I guess.

May 4 - handed in my last final of the semester. THANK GOD. I wasn't sure I was going to be able to do it - I wasted many a precious minute sitting at my computer thinking, "There's just no way. Even if I don't sleep, there's no way that I am going to be able to finish everything in time..." But somehow I did, and now, it seems, I am officially a senior. That's fucking scary as all hell...and I'd rather not think about it, but I think I have to think about it because I've got a senior show to put on in October and, well, yeah, I need to get cracking on that. More on that in a bit though.

May 8 - FUCKING AWESOME DAY! It was a day trip to NYC with Coley, Ogin, Liz, and Nate to see "Waiting for Godot" with Nathan Lane, John Goodman, Bill Erwin, and John Glover. We walked around the city, shopped a bit, visited Drama Book, I did some stuff for my senior show, and the culmination of the days activities was seeing the production, and my first experience stage-dooring. It was fantastic. I'd never seen the production staged before, and it was just SO good. I think my favorite character was Lucky, portrayed by John Glover, and his speech was just superb. It blows my mind even thinking about it now. Stage-dooring was also a surreal experience. The bigger name celebrities (Lane and Goodman) were kind of standoffish, but Erwin and Glover were fantastic...they wanted to know what school we went to, what we thought of the show...oh man, it was just great. I can't wait to stage-door "Exit the King"...heh heh heh...and I bought a shirt! It was expensive, $30, but worth it. It says "I can't. I'm waiting for Godot." How fucking great is that?!?! I love it. I think I need to do more days in the city...they're just a good thing, all around. And I've got money saved. I wasn't sure what I was saving it for...but maybe this is it - trips to the city. I shall have to confer with my fellow travelers to get their take on the idea, as I am not apprised of their financial situations. We shall see.

That just about brings things up to speed...but I must briefly reflect on work related issues for a moment. Last week, I worked an open to close shift at the store. That's all fine and good, not an issue, but I was working with Kim. Now, we've been getting along fairly well the last couple of weeks, but she completely took advantage of me and did NOT do her job at all this particular day. I have no problem being out on the floor by myself a while, but all day? All day? Kim spent the majority of the morning and afternoon on the phone with doctor's in the backroom, trying to sort things out with her daughter's broken nose. Understandable, things need to get taken care of, but it does not take several hours to sort these things out. Meanwhile, while she's gabbing away in the back, I have to take on the responsibility, the managerial responsibility of supervising the floor and manning the register. Luckily it wasn't too busy in the morning, so I was okay with it. It's what happened in the afternoon that brought things to a boil. Kim realized that she had no one to get her child, her precious Fuzz off the bus, and proceeded to FREAK OUT. She's calling all over the neighborhood to try and find someone to take care of her kid. Great parenting there, Kimbo. I told her if she had to leave to pick her up, I'd be okay for a half hour by myself, just leave me the keys and stuff and do what she had to do. But she refused, and proceeded to continue making phone calls, popping in and out of the backroom, as the store began to fill with customers. At this point, Kim has found out that her child is safe at a neighbor's house. End of story, right? WRONG. She then proceeds to regale the entire day's events to said neighbor, including all the doctor hoopla she had done that morning. There are about 15 costumers in the store, a line at the register, I'm trying to get people what they need and ring at the same time...and meanwhile Kim is just chit chatting away in the back room. One customer even informed me that another person left the store because Kim was on the phone. Yeah. So, things proceed like this for some time, until about 5 o'clock, when Katie shows up. Then Kim decides to get her act in gear for the remaining 15 minutes she's working, and actually does her job. FUCKING RIDICULOUS. Oh, but wait, here's the best part. I told Katie what had happened, and then told her I was going to write Randi a letter about it, because it needed to be addressed and taken care of. So, I wrote my little letter, ran it by Katie, and sealed it in an envelope, addressed it to Randi, wrote "For your eyes only" on the back seal, and left it on the desk. I go into work yesterday morning, Randi opened, and she proceeds to tell me that KIM OPENED THE LETTER! She also informs me that she thinks Katie instigated Kim to open it, and now, just when I thought things were going to start getting smoother, no more drama, all this conspiracy shit crops up out of nowhere. So, I'm furious, Randi's furious, Kim's an idiot, and maybe Katie's a backstabber? I dunno, but when Kim came in that afternoon, I was on my out, and she gives the cold shoulder! Like I did something to her! Excuse me, but who's the dumbass who opened someone else's PRIVATE, SEALED letter??!?!? I dunno, man. I love it there, I do, but I'm starting to think it's not work it. Well, I know it's not worth it, the pittance they're paying me...but that's ANOTHER story that will hopefully turn out in my favor once I write a strongly worded letter to Human Resources concerning the recent decision to do away with raises. Yeah. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

Okay, now that I have vented about that, onto much more pleasant things. Such as...

21 days till I turn 21!! It's going to be great. I don't know exactly what I'm doing yet, but I know I want to do Cooper's again and I'll probably do the midnight bar crawl thing. We'll see. I still have 21 days to figure it out, lol.

The weekend after my birthday, there is a party. A big party. A party so big it couldn't be held in this state. Well, I exaggerate a bit. Carolyn's birthday is two days after mine, and her parents decided to throw a big party for the both of us at her place on Long Island. We're going Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, and hopefully seeing a show in that time *crosses fingers for Hair*. We have to talk about it a bit more, but whatever goes down, it's going to be a good time.

Two days after that craziness, Dad and I are hopping in the Bug and driving out to Montana to see Gramma Vivian and Aunt Lynda. We'll be gone a week, which kind of blows for me and work, but I haven't seen them in years and it'll be great to finally take Pepper on an honest to god road trip. I'm looking forward to it.

So it's LI from June 5-7, MT from June 10-17, and then Italy from July 4-July 26! Yes, everything is in place for the trip to Italy, it's a done deal. Got my loan, paid for the trip, and it's going to be three weeks of intensity overseas. But fun...I hope. More on that as it develops, I suppose.

Then, this is how crazy I am, I get back from Italy on July 26, then I'm taking a day to rest up, and driving out to Maryland for a week on the beach with Coley and her gang. I'm trying to get someone from my gang to go with so that I won't be like the odd man out...but it's not looking good...I know that Rene and Carolyn won't want to go...they're not retarded like me and will want to recover from Italy, lol. I've asked Frank but he's not sure he'll have the money. And...that's about it. No one else is going to be 21 by that time that would want to go...and...well, such is my sad existence and lack of friends, I suppose. But, either way, a week on the beach relaxing and kicking back will be nice after Italy.

And between all this craziness and nonsense that's going on, I have a senior show to write, costume, choreograph, and create. I have my basics - it's just getting things started that's holding me back. Once I get going, I know it'll be fine, but...it's the getting going that's the problem, lol. I don't know where to start...I still haven't found a monologue or scene to use (I'm reading scripts right now - another reason for frequent visits to the city - to go to Drama Book!)...I need to start the script, start sketching some costumes, start making some costumes...oh boy...this isn't much of a summer vacation at all, it would seem...

Well, this has been a very long post, and, I think it had to be, because there has been so much that has gone on and so much going on and so much that will go on...and I'm not sure what to do now...I have to be to work at 5, I have to stop by the grocery store before then, but I still have a couple hours to kill and while I would love to go downstairs, grab a snack, and watch a couple episodes of Quantum Leap, I think perhaps I'll start working on my senior show script...in some capacity, at least, even if it's just brainstorming for a bit.

Until next time (which will be soon, I hope)...

Oh! PS - normally 2:30 AM calls that wake me from a dead sleep would agitate me, but when it's you calling to tell me that you never texted me back because your phone died...it's kind of sweet.

Let the sunshine...let the sunshine in...

So life has been pretty crazy these last couple of weeks, hence my lack of new posts, and there is much to discuss...oh yes, much indeed - however, now is not the time. I simply want to say this and then swiftly depart:

It's going to be sunny and 85 degrees today - so, by gum, I'm wearing a dress!

And no one can stop me!!

That is all for now...more to come in a week perhaps - when the semester ends and I can breathe easy once again...

Oh yes, one little side note - 38 days until my 21st birthday! Woooo!!